Apology from Canada to Americans

hehe Quote:Apology from Canada to Americans Courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes (Comedy-Political Satier) CBC Television: On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America.

Slack Space 1613 This topic was started by ,


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hehe
 

Quote:Apology from Canada to Americans
 
Courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes
(Comedy-Political Satier) CBC Television:
 
On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.
 
I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it
wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.
 
I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.
 
I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our
excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than
yours.
 
I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.
 
I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your
beer but, we Feel your Pain.
 
I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realise it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.
 
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologising for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.
 
Thank you.
 
 


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Whats that old saying?
 
Who needs enemies...

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3857 Posts
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Yeah, utterly hilarious. Hmm, no, wait, it isn't. But hey, for a country with few exports worth a damn (wood, maple syrup, snow, etc) it's nice to know that comedy is now, officially, not one of them.
 
<disclaimer>
 
Now please Canadians, don't take this personally, we really like having you guys build cars and such for much cheaper than we would pay our own people (well, except for us moving plants to Mexico where the work is better and cheaper still, but who's counting?). I mean, your labor is great, and we have lots of fun using, er, I mean "visiting" your country for cheap vacations. Remember, this is all in jest, right?
 
</disclaimer>

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yeah whatever ;(
Heaven forbid we should upset the Americans ( ) or disagree on something....
S

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I was hoping for a more creative response, but alas, nothing. Come on guys, let's see more shots at the Americans! You can do it! Heaven forbid Americans make fun of other nations, or else there's some bull$hit racist comment that comes with it. Or, better yet, I can just make fun of other countries because that's acceptable, right? Something like:
 
News flash: Backfire from Humvee in Southern Iraq, France surrenders...
 
How's that? Do you think that's acceptable behavior?

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I think Canada is in the fortunate position of knowing we won't do anything to them, and also knowing we won't allow anyone else to do so.
 
But if they increasing become more antagonistic, we will hit them in thier wallets.
 
 
France will soon find that out.

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2172 Posts
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Clutch, you wanted an inflammatory response? Let me give it a shot...
 
I hate everyone!
 
Of course that's such a farce...

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Quote:Clutch, you wanted an inflammatory response? Let me give it a shot...

I hate everyone!

Of course that's such a farce...

But Adam, you're American, and we Americans hate everybody...


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lol
 
okay, was to be a joke, or that is how i took it at least.
 
canada is the US's larges supplier of imports - to my knowledge.??
 
 
but yeah - this goes into why should all the people of canada, or all of the people of america be labeled based on what their governments control - as said - bush should not even be in office!
 
to me that is ridicoulus - there are many canadians who support the war - and just as many americans who do not. - (look @ the almost 500,000 protestor's who showed up in new york.)
 
It seem's many americans think that just because we are your neighbors - we should fight a war that you started - or choose to start - against the advice of many other nations - for some rather unclear reasons- so because we do not support you, we are to be punished - that seems something typical of the US - bulley your way around to get what you want - hence how this war likely began.
 
i thought america was the land of the free? So why such hatred for those who can think for them selves and make a decision about this war that suit's their interests - and not that of CNN and every other media source trying to shove "patriotism" down your throat because if you do not support the war - u are no patriotic? BS.
 
Even if the US did want to do something to us, you think the rest of the world would sit by and let it happen, i think not.

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Quote:I think Canada is in the fortunate position of knowing we won't do anything to them, and also knowing we won't allow anyone else to do so.

But if they increasing become more antagonistic, we will hit them in thier wallets.


France will soon find that out.

Well I do agree, we need to stop first by not buying any Canadian wood(largest export they have). While were at it, we should crank up production of oil in the Gulf of Mexico and boycott Canadian crude oil.

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Quote:lol

okay, was to be a joke, or that is how i took it at least.

canada is the US's larges supplier of imports - to my knowledge.??


but yeah - this goes into why should all the people of canada, or all of the people of america be labeled based on what their governments control - as said - bush should not even be in office!

to me that is ridicoulus - there are many canadians who support the war - and just as many americans who do not. - (look @ the almost 500,000 protestor's who showed up in new york.)

It seem's many americans think that just because we are your neighbors - we should fight a war that you started - or choose to start - against the advice of many other nations - for some rather unclear reasons- so because we do not support you, we are to be punished - that seems something typical of the US - bulley your way around to get what you want - hence how this war likely began.

i thought america was the land of the free? So why such hatred for those who can think for them selves and make a decision about this war that suit's their interests - and not that of CNN and every other media source trying to shove "patriotism" down your throat because if you do not support the war - u are no patriotic? BS.

Even if the US did want to do something to us, you think the rest of the world would sit by and let it happen, i think not.


Dude we don't need your military help, advise nor approval, but for once I'd like to watch CBC without them saying we are bombing children for fun

There is a difference between a passive anti-war stance, and going out of your way to make a point.

As to the validity of Bush's presidency, it doesn't matter. I am thankful however we had him in office after 9/11

Liberals aren't good at handling war stuff.

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You guys do realize that show is a parody and joke driven telecast right?
 
There are Americans shows that do the same thing, except to other countries.
 
Take a pill.

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Quote:You guys do realize that show is a parody and joke driven telecast right?

There are Americans shows that do the same thing, except to other countries.

Take a pill.

Actually, if you watch American TV, you would see that we tend to make fun of ourselves more often than anyone else. The reason being is that we have so many different nationalities represented that it's easy to offend some large group of people, who in turn throws a great big fit and has protests (anyone remember the Seinfeld episode with Kramer and the Puerto Rican flag?). Many Americans are getting tired of foreign governments coming to the US for handouts, I mean "aid packages" while their people burn our flag and tell us to pi$$ off. Personally, I would love to not deal with anybody else's issues (well, except for a few core governments, such as the Brits, we seem to have a good thing going with them) and just focus on internal problems. But hell, if we do that then more people b1tch that we *are not* helping and just standing idle as we did at the beginning of WW2 since it wasn't "our fight". We can't win with the world community no matter what we do. So basically we just sit around and try to figure out who we'll irritate this week and then play it by ear.

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Quote:
I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it
wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I am sorry we do not know who your president is, or your prime minister, or whatever you call it up there. It's not like it matters, since that government only governs 26 million, 2/3rds which are too drunk to work. I am sorry that the only people who have firearms in Canada are gangs and thugs. What was the point in banning firearms? Oh yeah...reducing crime.

Quote:I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry that's the only export you have. I am sorry we use you for cheap labor in making our cars that WE design. Then we sell them back to you triple what you built them for. (you get paid HALF of what US citizens make )And no, Japan is our biggest importer.

Quote:I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our
excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than
yours.

I'm sorry we won 62 other medals compared to your 2, Hockey wasnt THAT bigga deal, but The Mackenzie brothers know no other sports, except cheap beer chugging and hockey

Quote:I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry you dont have a government, nor a population for that matter, I am sorry that Mexico City has more people than youre entire Country. I am sorry that when you decided to start a country that no one showed up.

Quote:I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your
beer but, we Feel your Pain.

I'm sorry you dont have the best beer in the world, nor the most potent. Samuel Adams has been voted the best tasting beer IN THE WORLD, since 1998 (5 years running), however I AM GLAD that you had nothing to do with our beer, keep your own, Molson tastes like piss.

Quote:I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realise it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

Yes, I truly am sorry that Hussein tortures and mutilates his own people, that they CANT be liberated, and I am sorry that he takes his own army, if they dont do what he says, he grinds up their feet in an industrial paper shredder, records their screaming, then plays it back and laughs, then tells his commanders that's them if they dont do as he says. I am sorry Hussein, hangs his people just because they wave at the US military as they walk by. I am sorry that he gives his people acid in their water, if he doesnt lget enough extortion money from a city in his country. I am sorry that Hussein takes 40% off the top of any aid ANYONE tries to give his country, and starves his people. I am sorry he uses chemical and biological weapons on his little peasant settlements to disfigure them, just to see if his faulty weapons work. I am sorry that in High School Udey Hussein brought a tiger to school and had it mutilate 14 classmates(he sicked it on them) , just because it was "pet day".

I am sorry they put a crappy Canadian Character, Yukon Cornelious, in such a great classic cartoon such as Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. :x

I am sorry that you cannot make up your mind as to an official language, English or French. I am also sorry that the French left you for dead, and now persecutes you, because you mutilated their precious language. I am sorry that Quebec wants to seceed from your country and become their own. I am sorry that your currency sucks, and has 62% of value compared to the US dollar. I am osrry that the rest of the world will not accept Canadian DOllars, but any country will accept US currency.

I am sorry that the CBC cannot report the correct news, because the war with Iraq did not start because we bullied our way in, it started because Hussein is torturing people, and we have morals and protect innocent people (including you Canadians). Hussein had 12 years to disarm, you think 15 more days will help (what the UN wanted)?

Quote:And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologising for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Finally (notice the CORRECT grammar? NEVER start a sentence with AND)

On behalf of all US citizens, I am sorry you have no military to even attempt to help the US in IRaq, and that WE protect YOU. I am sorry we ever went into a bound agreement with NORAD, which we built, we maintain, and we defend Entire North America from people like Saddam Hussein.

Send that to Rick Mercer.

Now, in all seriousness...War should not be joked about, it's a sensitive subject. If you were offended by my post, then you shouldnt joke about a war...Lives are lost (not in vain, btw). We are trying to help the INNOCENT people of Iraq. 49 countries from the UN support the Coalition forces, I dont see why it's so bad to be there and help men, women, and children who cant help themselves.

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Jokes are funnier with facts. Sorry you had to make things up. Anyways it'll be more fun for me to debunk. Please take no offense
 

Quote:
Quote:I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own. 
I'm sorry that's the only export you have. I am sorry we use you for cheap labor in making our cars that WE design. Then we sell them back to you triple what you built them for. (you get paid HALF of what US citizens make )And no, Japan is our biggest importer.

 
http://www.canadianembassy.org/trade/wltr-en.asp - in summary, it's not japan.
 
In 2000, U.S. transactions with Canada reached $489 billion, 52% more than its exchange with Japan and 62% more than its trade with the United Kingdom.
 
Another big misconception. Oh well, I'm sorry you have no idea where your own US$ is going to. You can probably blame your education system and media for lack of information. They're the easiest targets. You should really understand that America is the 11th province and Canada is the 51st state.
 

Quote:
Quote:I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than
yours.
 
I'm sorry we won 62 other medals compared to your 2, Hockey wasnt THAT bigga deal, but The Mackenzie brothers know no other sports, except cheap beer chugging and hockey

 
Holy, is your math off today.
 
Salt Lake city Gold Silver Bronze
US 10 14 11 = 35
Can 6 3 8 = 17
 
Well based on population, Canada kicked booty as the US has a talent pool that is 9 times larger to draw from. You're probably thinking now, as most american's would: "That's because you guys are all living in igloo's" Well some of us are, but the lack of Big Mac's and Whoppers in our diet has prepared us for the summer olympics too.
 
Sydney G S B
US 40 24 33 = 97
Can 3 3 8 = 14
 
We're still pretty good as you guys have 9x the population but only 6.9 times the medal.
 

Quote:
Quote:I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice. 
I'm sorry you dont have a government, nor a population for that matter, I am sorry that Mexico City has more people than youre entire Country. I am sorry that when you decided to start a country that no one showed up.

 
err good one, some more make believe? Bad attempt at humour. Leave the funny to mike myers and jim carrey. Listen to Homer - "It's funny because it's true"
 

Quote:
Quote:I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realise it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons. 
Yes, I truly am sorry that Hussein tortures and mutilates his own people, that they CANT be liberated, and I am sorry that he takes his own army, if they dont do what he says, he grinds up their feet in an industrial paper shredder, records their screaming, then plays it back and laughs, then tells his commanders that's them if they dont do as he says. I am sorry Hussein, hangs his people just because they wave at the US military as they walk by. I am sorry that he gives his people acid in their water, if he doesnt lget enough extortion money from a city in his country. I am sorry that Hussein takes 40% off the top of any aid ANYONE tries to give his country, and starves his people. I am sorry he uses chemical and biological weapons on his little peasant settlements to disfigure them, just to see if his faulty weapons work. I am sorry that in High School Udey Hussein brought a tiger to school and had it mutilate 14 classmates(he sicked it on them) , just because it was "pet day".

 
At least this part is true. But you have to round our your picture to the other attempts at regime change by the US. Then summarise with the number of people America has killed. Capped off with some big red markers showing what governements, the US has let commit genocide on milliions of people. As I agree with your last point here, I just need to round our your views.
 
Governments whom US has given $$, to fight for 'freedom':
Taliban in Afghanistan
Shah of Iran
Saddam of you know where
IRA, damn straight it's the Irish in america who gave some $$ to cause some terrorist acts.
pinchot of chile
manuel noriega of panama
 
Countries where America does killing good:
Vietnam
Cambodia
 
Finally countries that have commited many times worse genocide:
Rwanda
bosnia
 
Funny, laugh, har har. These are all things you can leave out when put your blinders on and go after that mean ol Saddam. A country that hasn't sparked the interest it deserves in comparison to the other atrocities in the past. Coming for a country that believes in 99.999999999% of what america does, I'm glad we only disagree on this issue, because it's the least important one. Freedom to be funny being one of the most. If you want to drag this one disagreement into other issues, then please go ahead. Your threats about divesting US money with canada, is many times less important to us than the morale truth.
 
(In case you missed my point, Saddam needs to be in prison/dead.
We tend to feel money is why the US is attacking because more severe atrocities have occured in other countries. The largest difference is oil here.)
 
Oh yeah, your Minster of Foreign relations with Canada said that canada is actually contributing more to the war on iraq than most of your coalition. eg. Vessels in the water ways and soldiers on exhange with the US.
 
http://www.cbc.ca/news/iraq/documents/cellucci030325.html
 
Points:
- In fact, for 38 of the 50 states the number one foreign trading partner is Canada.
- We get more oil from Canada than any country.
- In fact, on September 11, 2001, a little known fact, is that it was General Findley, a Canadian general, who was in the chair.
- So we are disappointed that some of our closest allies, including Canada, have not agreed with us on the urgent need for this military action against Iraq.
 
That last one i had to put to balance the picture. We are also dissappointed that US is at war. Oh well tit for tat.
 

Quote:
Quote:I am sorry that the CBC cannot report the correct news, because the war with Iraq did not start because we bullied our way in, it started because Hussein is torturing people, and we have morals and protect innocent people (including you Canadians). Hussein had 12 years to disarm, you think 15 more days will help (what the UN wanted)?

 
I'm glad we agree on iraq here. But I'm sorry that you don't know about the 800,000 tutsis in Rwanda that died in the 90's.
 

Quote:
Quote:On behalf of all US citizens, I am sorry you have no military to even attempt to help the US in IRaq, and that WE protect YOU. I am sorry we ever went into a bound agreement with NORAD, which we built, we maintain, and we defend Entire North America from people like Saddam Hussein.

 
I'm sorry that you still haven't realised we have Canadians who look and talk like americans, embedded in every city in the US. At any point you guys come and piss us off, Mike Myers and Jim Carrey will kick your yankee ass from within your borders.
 

Quote:
Quote:I dont see why it's so bad to be there and help men, women, and children who cant help themselves.
 
Grand summary:
 
If you haven't learned from previous wars, vietnam and that little 40 year spat between israel and palestine, you can't take land away from the native people. If a country tried to invade america, Every american would fight to the death. The people in the middle east are fighting for their land until their deaths. Whether you agree on war or no war, everyone understands the fight for survival until death.
 
Suicide bombers do suck, but instead of attacking israel, they will now go after americans. By putting soldiers in the region, It's almost as if they now can attack america directly.
 
The way this would have worked in the past was through annexation and genocide - refer to native americans. If you kill 50,000 Iraqi's in the next little while, aren't you committing a form of genocide?
 
Let's hope saddam dies, and the war is short. US is the 2nd best country
 
b.

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Quote:Yeah, utterly hilarious. Hmm, no, wait, it isn't. But hey, for a country with few exports worth a damn (wood, maple syrup, snow, etc) it's nice to know that comedy is now, officially, not one of them.



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If Canada should apologise for anything it should be:
 
Bryan Adams
Celine Dion
Mayonaise on hamburgers.

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Quote:Jokes are funnier with facts. Sorry you had to make things up. Anyways it'll be more fun for me to debunk. Please take no offense


b.

thank you very much! - u just saved me alot of typing and searching! Facts always are si much better!

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Wow quite the thread LOL
 
Anyway I’m against the war but not against Americans. I have been all over your beautiful country and talk to many Americans, liked most of them I must say.
 
I don’t agree with what goes on in the White House but I have never held that against to good people of America.
 
I think very little of your current President, but I think even less of our Priminister.(Talk about an embarrassment)
 
I heard that the American anthem was booed at a sporting event by Canadians and was completely embarrassed by the disrespect shown. This should never happen and does NOT reflect what the major majority of Canadians feel.
 
The fact of the matter is we need each other; one cannot survive with out the other.
 
 
 
PS: I truly hope the Bush never gets re elected your country deserves better.
 
Peace


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Hey, isn't Canada mostly French anyway?
 
NUFF SAID!! :x

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Honestly, I am just sick of all the sh1t I have to listen to about the war, and about what all these other wonderful little countries think about us even though they take handouts from us left and right. I thought the forum would be one place where I could stop seeing it, but I guess not. If you don't like the US, fine, just keep your stupid little comments to yourselves. Many of us (that's right, there's a lot of American, British, Australian, and other coalition members families and friends that post here that are probably in the same boat as I am and watch for more developments on this war) have grown tired of information overload on the tv and radio, and want to come here for other topics of interest. I mean, even if our president is a dip$hit (I never claimed to like him, but the group of people setup to babysit him has been pretty good), you should note that we are NOT the only ones over there. The Brits, Danes, and many other countries are sick of Saddam's $hit too and want to put him down. But it's ok, everybody points the finger at the US for starting everything, and I guess these same people must either not see that there are a lot of other countries involved with us, simply overlook that fact, or just think that these governments can't form a thought of their own and blindly follow the US lead (and that sure as hell isn't the case, right?). So here's a thought, how about having a *little* respect to the sensitivity of this issue when posting about the war on this board, or maybe, just maybe, save the brain power and bandwidth for NT issues here and just drop it altogther?